Spider!!!

I have a confession: although, I try to sell myself out as a tomboy, I am not. I may be an athletic gal, a gal that can down a few beers, a competitive gal, a gal that prefers blue jeans and sweaters to skirts, a gal that likes red meat, a gal that hates talking on the phone, but I am not the type of gal that likes spiders! I am deathly afraid of spiders and most bugs to boot.

You think I'm kidding?

While in grad school, I summoned my friend to my house to kill a bug. Okay, in my defense, it was a really, really, really big bug! Seriously, we're talking a bug that was well over three inches long and when my friend crushed him on my carpet, there was a stain from his nasty bug blood. Of course my friend laughed her butt off at me and we still joke about that night to this day.

When I was a kid I would run to my baby brother and have him kill spiders for me. I once found a spider in the shower and I started sobbing and screaming for my brother. He found me huddled in the corner of the bathroom, wrapped in a towel, and convulsing. Arachnophobia scared the living daylights out of me. Really, it did. That movie scared me more than Jaws.

Why is this relevant? Well, for the past few days I have noticed a rather large spider web on my front porch. I asked the hubs to get rid of it (power wash it away for all I care!). Then, we noticed a very large spider in the web a few days ago. Again, I pleaded with my hubs to get rid of it and dispose of the spider (what I really meant was, "Babe, you have to kill that spider and then burn its body, otherwise, it might come back and get us!").

This afternoon I noticed that Jewels seemed more enthused with staring out the window then normal. I sauntered over to the window, looked out, shrieked and then ran upstairs! Yeah, there was this gigantic spider in the window. The big, ugly type of spiders that have hairy legs and what looks to be an extra set of limbs coming out of it's mouth. Yeah, scary spider. Plus, it has these really bright yellow dots on its back. Now, the last time I checked National Geographic, if an animal has bright colors on it, well, then that is a warning to stay away!

I have no idea if this is the same spider from the front porch. I sprayed my front window with the hose, hoping the water pressure would crush the spider, but the darn thing crawled in some little nook and is probably laughing at me. Laughing, but trying to figure out how to bite me.

So now, there will be no more enjoying this lovely fall weather. All doors and windows will be clamped shut! I don't want any pesky spiders taking refuge in my house! Jax got bit by a spider (or at least that's what our vet guessed) two years ago and his face swelled up so big that his ears actually looked small for his face.

Now, I know that in this picture the spider looks very small. Don't let that fool you. This bad boy is big, like an inch long. I know that's small, but in my scary bug world that's pretty big!

Did I mention that I'm scared of spiders?

Update: I'm so afraid of spiders that when my husband called to ask about tonight's plans, he could tell something was wrong. I told him there was a furry spider in the window. His response, "I'm leaving work now." Reaon #89736105 I love that man.