What I'll Miss About Being Pregnant

I sit here at 37 weeks pregnant and I'm considered full-term by my medical team. I know other doctors now consider 39 weeks full term, but I don't know if I have another 2 weeks left in me so it's only fitting to that I'm going to believe I'm full-term right now.

This pregnancy has been the hardest thing I've done in my life. I apologize to all the women out there who want to get pregnant or maintain a pregnancy so badly. This post isn't meant to be an insult to you in any way, shape, or form. But even through the ups and downs of this pregnancy looking back these were a truly amazing 37 weeks. I joked with the hubs that I might be the only pregnant woman in the history of the world who was trying to stay as pregnant as possible during August's summer heat and humidity because I'm not quite mentally ready to stop being pregnant just yet.

Without further ado and in no ranked order here are some of the things I'll miss about being pregnant:

- The ease of getting dressed. Sure there were a few days where I'd go to put something on and realized it didn't fit and there was still that one time somewhere around 27 weeks where I mistakenly put a pair of non-maternity jeans in my maternity clothes pile. I nearly passed out when I tried to pull my pants up. However, the longer I got into this pregnancy the easier it became to get dressed because I rotated between 6 dresses, a few shirts, and four pairs of pants. All I can say is thank goodness for cardigans, blazers, and statement necklaces to mix things up a bit.

- The complete and total lack of stranger judgement when eating ice cream in public. Camden Yards, the park, you name it, I probably had ice cream there. I remember standing in a line of kids at Camden Yards to get ice cream on a HOT July day and one kid even let me go in front of him in line.

- Also got to cut the line a few times at public restrooms. I swear I didn't waddle in on purpose, but more than once kind women ushered me to the front of the line.  There's a shared connection it seems between women who understand the need to pee and the need to pee instantly.

- My fuller face meant less wrinkles! I have a thinner face and not a ton of wrinkles unless I'm smiling, but with a few extra pounds of pregnancy weight that settled into my face I looked so much younger. I thought my skin was going to be absolutely terrible during this pregnancy, but it held up surprisingly well. I have a few more blemishes at this very second than I would prefer, but I think those are all stress related. Knowing I could go into labor at any moment has caused a tiny bit of stress.

- I've never felt more feminine in my life. I was always a tomboy growing up and I don't consider myself a "girly girl" by any stretch of the imagination. But while pregnant I finally felt feminine and it was as if my body was doing what it was designed to do. I didn't feel that way during the first trimester when my body felt like it was at war with itself, but during the second and third trimesters I feel like I finally came into my womanhood.

- The absolute joy brought around by strangers and non-strangers when talking about babies. I can't explain it, but it's as if babies hold the key to world peace. They're so full of hope, promise, and a clean slate that just talking about them makes people kinder.

Pregnancy Update: 35 Weeks

(Makeup free photos! Because I'm officially over mascara at this moment in time.) 

Just over a couple weeks ago at a routine pre-natal visit Chalupa Batman measured small. As in smaller than he did at his previous pre-natal visit. It was enough of a concern that I was sent over to the maternal fetal medicine specialists and a 3rd trimester growth ultrasound was conducted. The hubs and I were told that Chalupa Batman was in the 3rd percentile for weight according to his due date. There are a whole host of reasons that could explain his tiny size and my arms showed some impressive bruises as I underwent a whole host of blood tests to try to get some answers.

Every single test came back negative. I haven't been ordered to go on bed rest, yet, but I was told to limit my physical activity. We're still not 100% sure what is going on, but I'm at the doctor's office every 72 hours for Chalupa Batman to undergo a nonstress test. It's where they hook me up to a machine for 20+ minutes and track his heartbeat and my contractions. He has to show strong heartbeats and some variations in order to prove he's an active baby. I also have an ultrasound once a week to check the amount of amniotic fluid surrounding him. 

If any of these terms make zero sense to you, welcome to the club! The first day we found out felt like a tidal wave of information and it took me a few days just to feel like I had my head above water. I'm still not sure I feel in control most days. Our primary goal is to get him to 37 weeks, reassess his size, and then make a determination on when to induce early. We've been told there's almost no situation in which I go to a full 40 weeks. My goal of giving birth without even getting an IV has gone straight out the window. 

Baby's Size: Up for discussion! Supposedly about the size of a honeydew melon. 

I'm Feeling: I'm supposed to keep my stress levels down. Ha! Basically I'm trying to keep myself as mellow as possible so I don't disrupt Chalupa Batman. I consider it a monumental victory in terms of self-control that I haven't been on WebMD in over two weeks. 

I'm incredibly fortunate to have amazing friends, family, co-workers, and a partner through this journey. As soon as I told my leadership team at work their first question was, "what do you need?" My office has gone above and beyond what they're legally required to do and I know that's an odd way to put it, but it's amazing. I'm able to work from home most days and just the lack of a 2 hour daily commute has made my life much less stressful. 

I can't even go into how supportive everyone else is in my life because there isn't enough space on the internet. 

Physically: I'm a slow moving person these days and I sit down as much as possible. Even when the hubs and I are folding cute baby clothes in the nursery I'm sitting down or taking breaks every few minutes to rock in the glider.  The few times I've gone into work I even take the elevator up and down rather than the stairs. That's never happened.  I haven't gone for a walk since we heard the news about Chalupa Batman and I miss those moments with the dogs.  The weather has turned to full on summer mode and I basically try to avoid the outside temperatures now that it's 90+ degrees and humid. 

My Wardrobe:  Working from home has its perks! One of them is I'm able to wear quite a few of the hubs technical shirts to keep cool and comfortable and I've borrowed a few pairs of his shorts as well. Anytime I venture outside I'm either in a dress or a gifted pair of maternity cropped khakis. I'm officially done buying maternity clothes!  High heels also seem to be a thing of the past at the moment, but on most days I still have ankles and that's a win. 

I'm Sleeping: Some nights I sleep amazing and other nights I barely sleep. I can control my emotions and stress levels while I'm awake, but at night it's a different story. I woke up last night at 3:38am and couldn't fall back asleep because I was going through every possible induction outcome scenario.

Food Aversions & Cravings: Negative. Look when a team of doctor's tells you you're baby is small I think it's a normal reaction to go into full on buffet mode. I've been a strong snacker throughout this pregnancy, but now that I'm home my mid-morning snack consists of scrambled eggs rather than cut up fruit. No one believes me when I tell them I've already put on 25lbs during this pregnancy, but I think they're just being kind. Zero specific cravings, but I just want all the healthy foods all the time.  I'm eating walnuts by the handful if that says anything. 

What I'm Excited For this Next Month: Getting Chalupa Batman chubby! Whether that be while he's still baking, at NICU, or at home with us. Also getting everything ready to possibly have a baby next weekend. Really hoping we can keep him past 37 weeks, but I'm just trying to mentally prep to have him early. So many people have swore to me that first time moms go past their due date that I was just mentally ready to give birth right before September. Now the goal is to make it to August! 

The Hubs: This is another spot where I can't write too much without getting overly emotional. He's been absolutely amazing throughout this entire pregnancy and I didn't think it was humanly possible for him to get even more amazing, but somehow he has over these past few weeks. There were a couple of individuals in our lives who lashed out at me and told me that it was my own physical activity levels and my selfish ways of working out while pregnant that were preventing Chalupa Batman from growing properly. I can't even describe how horrible that felt to hear. Those people didn't know that I stopped running a month before Chalupa Batman measured small and that my running routine the last few weeks that I still ran was almost non-existent. The hubs took those people aside and shut them down. 

He's kept me from falling absolutely apart these past few weeks and I couldn't have done it without him. 

Pregnancy Update: 31 Weeks

Well Chalupa Batman decided to give us quite the scare at my last doctor's appointment.  Our little family of three had the first appointment of the day and apparently the doppler machine didn't like us. There's no greater panic in the world than hearing your doctor mutter, "where is the heartbeat." I think the doctor saw the look of absolute panic on my face and she immediately proclaimed that the machine was broken and she'd be back in momentarily with a sonogram machine. We weren't expecting to see Chalupa Batman again, but it was rather reassuring to see him moving around on the low-resolution sonogram machine. Needless to say my blood pressure was most likely elevated. That kid isn't even born yet and he's already causing me a few premature gray hairs! I don't know how to properly convey how happy I was the doctor instinctively went for a sonogram machine to calm my nerves rather than just getting another doppler machine.

31 Weeks

Baby's Size: Chalupa Batman is about 3lbs and the size of a coconut.  Based on family history I'm trying to mentally prepare myself for a giant baby and it hasn't been fun.

I'm Feeling: Pretty good. I'm hopefully less than 2 months away from meeting Chalupa and that's got me extremely excited. I just want to met this kid already! But I don't want to meet him yet because I know he's got some growing to do and it would be scary if he came too soon. I'm just trying to keep myself mentally calm during the rest of June and July. August will be a different story and I'm sure I'll be an absolute basket case waiting for this kid to make a move already.

Physically: I am Jekyl and Hyde it seems. If it's less than 80 degrees I have all the energy in the world (not really, but it feels like it) and I'm ready to tackle anything that comes my way. I even thought about mixing in a few minutes of running when I was walking laps at the park last week, but I had to pee so bad after 2 seconds and the bathrooms were inexplicably locked. I haven't ran in a few weeks and I'm at peace with it. I had hoped to run well into my third trimester, but the weather is just not cooperating. Maybe if I get blessed with a fluke 70 degree day I'll try to get in a bit of jogging, but right now I'm really enjoying my evening walks with the hubs around the neighborhood.

I am not looking forward to the weather getting even hotter. We've had a few days where the thermometer has tipped 90 degrees and I've been absolutely miserable. This past weekend was pretty hot and the hubs and I spent a few hours roaming around a local casino just to soak up their arctic air conditioning. I honestly think that might be a new way to get out of the heat - the hubs can gamble a bit and I can walk laps around the casino floor.

My Wardrobe: My outfits are getting even more "streamlined." I need to find a maternity maxi skirt or something quick because the idea of wearing pants is getting even more unbearable by the day. I'm still able to wear a few non-maternity shirts, but I actually made the mistake of grabbing a pair of non-maternity trousers one more and almost passed out when I pulled them over my belly. Sorry for that button indentation Chalupa Batman.

I'm Sleeping: Not as well as I have been. I have to get up more often than not most nights and 4:30am seems to be my new wakeup call. I felt so bad one night because I was tossing and turning so much that I felt I should have moved to another bed just so the hubs could get a decent night of sleep.  Naps are still my jam. I can't figure out how I can get comfortable enough to nap, but not sleep a full night.

Food Aversions & Cravings: I really can't even recall the last time I had a food aversion. Based on my blood glucose screening I have to give up my morning bagel habit. I still want a bagel, but apparently my body can't readily handle that level of complex carbohydrate first thing in the morning. Bagels are now banned! But my body can handle donuts mid-morning because that makes sense. The human body continues to fascinate me.

In addition to trying to eat more fruit I'm also trying to eat more walnuts during the third trimester. All about those omega-3 fatty acids. Oh, and ice cream because it's freaking hot out!  Mint chocolate Klondike bars are my new best friend. I personally have always had a problem with portion control when it comes to ice cream therefore bars are perfect for me. I eat one and I'm done. But if I had a spoon and a half gallon of ice cream I could go to town on that thing. Always could and it'd probably be a lot easier to mentally justify the splurge as "but it's hot and I'm pregnant."

Oddly enough, I gained a whopping pound last month! Apparently just surviving in this heat is a calorie burner.

What I'm excited for this next month: Chalupa Batman's crib should finally be delivered! That's really going to make the nursery feel more done. This upcoming weekend is our non-baby shower, baby shower up in NJ and I'm really excited to see my family. Especially now that my sister has moved to Texas because it is freaking me out that she's not a manageable car ride away anymore. The hubs and I have plans every weekend from here until August and it seems like a lot, but we're trying to get as much done now and get out as much as possible before I get to be full term and potentially completely unable to handle the heat or have the energy to do anything.

The Hubs: I swear he's part machine, but an incredibly kind and patient machine. He is just cranking through house projects like there is no tomorrow. But at the same time he's incredibly attentive to how I'm feeling and if I need help with anything around the house.  We spent Father's Day organizing Chalupa Batman's closet and the hubs folded every single piece of the seven loads of baby clothes we have and put each and every one of them away. I had initially hung up the 0-3 month clothes, but we decided that the onesies needed to be folded instead. I was busy doing the world's worst closet purge and cleaning out the seasonal decor items stored in the nursery closet. And the hubs just folded clothes. And laughed about outfits. And made comments like, "well he needs a different shirt to go with these pants." It might not seem like much, but those moments where we're working together in the nursery have been some of my favorite moments of this pregnancy. We're a team, we're partners, and we're in this together.

Nursery Inspiration

When the hubs and I bought our home in June 2011 we never really decorated the second guest room. We both hoped it would one day be a nursery, but we never called it the future nursery. We threw a purplish-gray paint on the walls from Sherwin Williams and called it a day. The room really became a hodgepodge of random items and my overflow of clothes quickly spread to the room's two closets. A big part of getting the nursery ready meant cleaning the room out and re-homing most of its stuff.

When we found out that we were expecting in December 2014 the very first thing I started to think of was what to do with the nursery.  Initially, we had no desire to find out the sex of our little Chalupa Batman, but after two months of not knowing we were ready to know.  Since we started out thinking of not knowing we leaned towards a gender neutral nursery.  The purple-gray paint color on the nursery's walls is my favorite paint color in the house and I really didn't want to repaint the room. Even before we found out that Chalupa Batman was a boy the hubs was adamant that we didn't have to repaint because "what's wrong with a boy having a purple room?"

Have I mentioned lately that I love that man?

That's when we settled on a black, white, gray color scheme.  The wall color would compliment the color scheme nicely and once we found out Chalupa Batman's sex we would add in an additional accent color.  Full disclosure, there would most likely be a bit more purple in the room if we were having a girl. However, as soon as we found out we were having a boy the hubs immediately thought a few orange touches would be perfect in the nursery.

Also need to point out that the hubs is incredibly involved in the design and implementation of the nursery. Although he has to keep me in check from time to time with practical logic because I may or may not have tried to buy an orange play teepee to put in the nursery.  The hubs was kind enough to point out that Chalupa Batman didn't need a play teepee yet and we could hold off on that item.  Same with the small reading chair. Okay fine and a lot of other things.

The room is going to be the combination of our favorite tastes: modern and rustic. Lots of cool gray tones to bring a bit of modern updates to the room. My favorite black and white tuxedo lamp will be over by the gray glider. But then we're incorporating more rustic and natural elements where we can. The hubs is almost finished with the shelves above the dresser and they're gray stained pine shelves with cast iron piping.

However, the most important touches in the nursery (besides Chalupa Batman!) are the handcrafted family heirlooms. My late grandfather used to make wooden toys and trains and I asked my dad if I could have a train to put in the nursery. The train engine is already up on a shelf and my dad is putting together an assortment of train cars and trucks for me. I can't really sum up my feelings on how happy I am that pieces of my grandfather will be in the nursery. In addition, my dad is making Chalupa Batman a wooden rocking horse. It won't be ready in time for August because that type of wood working project is a "winter activity" for my dad, but I'll be thrilled when Chalupa is finally old enough to play with it. My dad made my nephew a rocking horse and I'm excited that Chalupa will be able to share that with my nephew. I'm going to pay my nephew a finder's fee if he can track down my old Lincoln Logs while he's up at my parents house for a few more weeks.

I know when we first started thinking through the nursery I told the hubs we needed a "theme." He objected to an actual theme, although for a week I was totally running with a "Where the Wild Things Are Theme" because it's one of our favorite childhood books. We settled on a color scheme and that's theme enough for us. Putting together an inspiration board was really helpful because there just seems to be an overwhelming number of options out there for baby stuff. Like I might have run around like a crazed kid in a candy store the first time we went into a baby store.  I needed a picture of the room in my head that was finite in order to focus my attention and harness my crazy energy. :)  

Pregnancy Update: 27 Weeks

I had every intention of posting an update at 26 weeks to keep these evenly spaced every four weeks. Then the hubs got sick for a week with a cold.  There were a brief few days where he felt better and I hadn't yet gotten sick. Then, I got sick with a slightly different cold and it's been over a week and I'm still not feeling 100% better yet.  However, the hubs is going out of town and well I needed a "bump" picture before I crossed over the 28 week threshold. So here we go at 27 weeks and 6 days. 

Yes, I kid you not, that's the level of detail in which prenatal doctors track your pregnancy. I think they start throwing hours around when you get over 40 weeks :) 

27 WEEKS 

Baby's Size: Nearly 2lbs and the size of a head of cauliflower. The kid has nearly doubled in size over the past five weeks and I pretty much feel the same way. 

I'm Feeling: Mixed emotions going on here. I had been feeling pretty good about myself and I guess I convinced myself that I was "all belly." Well, an individual remarked to me, "I'm surprised by how much weight you've put on" and it crushed me. Look, I've got weight insecurities like everyone else and those are certainly magnified now that people generally greet me with an enthusiastic, "look how big you've gotten!" 

Other than the negative emotions, I've really been trying to be as positive as possible. Sure, it's definitely tougher on the days when it's 90 degrees and I feel gross as soon as I step outside, but all I need is a Chalupa Batman dance party in my abs and I'm good to go.  If I could get offered a seat on a standing room only train I'd take it, but so far that hasn't happened.  

Physically: Major change, but my belly button "popped" at 25 weeks. Unfortunately, it's not like a turkey popper because I've got quite a bit more cooking to do on this kid. I feel like I almost need two recaps: how I was feeling before getting sick and then after! I'm still able to move around pretty well, but going up and down stairs frequently takes more out of me than I would like.  I try to walk up and down the steps in our house for 10 straight minutes a night and I'm huffing and puffing a lot more these days.  I haven't ran in 10 days and I'm itching to get back out for a few miles. I received the all-clear this week from my doctor to continue running for another month and I want to take advantage of that while I still can. Granted, my runs are in the 10:30 minute mile pace at the moment and anything over than three miles has to include both a walking break and a pee stop, but it's not terrible. Maybe I have one 10k left in me, but if it doesn't happen I'm at peace with it. 

My Wardrobe: It's pretty much a rinse, later, repeat on a weekly basis. However, last month I found my unicorn maternity jeans. I love them. I wear them pretty much non-stop Fridays - Sundays. I still have a few non-maternity tops that fit, but I think they're only going to last for another week or so. I'm borrowing casual wear tshirts from the hubs for lounging around the house. Thankfully, my heels still fit! 

I'm Sleeping: Much better. I've got this whole "pillow between the legs" thing down pat. The hubs has even stopped stealing my extra pillows. I surprisingly still don't have to get up all that often during the middle of the night to head over to the restroom. Naps are also my new best friend on the weekends. Love me some afternoon nap time. Jax and Jewels are a fan of nap cuddles as well. Jax likes to think of my growing belly as a cushy pillow for his head. 

Food Aversions & Cravings: I don't remember exactly when it went away, but I can't even think of the last time I needed a Tums to cure some nasty heartburn. It seemed that the first trimester nausea was quickly replaced by heartburn, but now I can safely leave the house without my safety bottle of Tums. I've been trying to eat more fruit lately as an afternoon snack and watermelon and cantaloupe have been on heavy rotation in our house.  However, I miss tuna. Seriously, every week when we're at the grocery store I'll longingly stare at the fresh fish display and gaze upon the tuna. 

What I'm excited for this next month: Really working on the nursery. The dresser/changing table is assembled and I'm starting to wash and organize some of the clothes we've received from a dear friend. She has two boys under the age of 4 and has stocked us up on cute boy clothes! I'm heading up to NY to visit my family and then at the end of the month my aunt is throwing the hubs, Chalupa Batman, and me a non-baby shower, baby shower. It's going to be co-ed and held at a minor league baseball stadium. EXCITED doesn't even begin to sum up how I'm feeling about that party. I know a lot of moms-to-be are heavily involved in their shower plans and details whereas I'm about as hands off as possible. So when my aunt told me that the party was co-ed and at a ballpark I was jumping up and down with glee. My excitement must have spilled over because the hubs immediately told his brother and now his brother is trying to figure out if he can make the trip up to NJ to go with us.  To sum up: a mid-30s year old man wants to attend a baby shower because it sounds that awesome. 

The Hubs: He's amazing. He's got these intense to-do lists and he's checking things off with gusto. I didn't like any pre-made shelves  that we found in stores for the nursery. So he built shelves. He's never stained wood before, but I wanted to stain the shelves rather than paint them so he did it. He wasn't about to let me stain them due to the odor and he didn't even complain. Sure, he's still trying to win me over and have us name our kid Stetson, but other than that he's been awesome. He's not the most touchy/feeling guy and I think he was actually a bit disappointed for a few weeks when he couldn't feel Chalupa Batman's kicks. He woke me up one night when he first felt Chalupa Batman kicking and it was adorable. He even adjusted the thermostat when the weather heated up and I was a bit warmer than I would have liked. That's LOVE! 

Pregnancy Update: 22 Weeks

I know, you're thinking, "wait, weren't you just at 18 weeks?" Yeah, I did that recap a week late because I just didn't have the energy to get it up in time, but trust me I'm officially at 22 weeks right now! 

22 WEEKS / 6 MONTHS

Baby's size: Almost a full pound and the size of a spaghetti squash.  

I'm feeling: Officially pregnant all the time. I felt movement at 18 weeks, actually the night I ran a half marathon, and that caused a little bit of concern. Thankfully a quick call to the doctor and I was relieved that everything was okay.  The movement is definitely stronger now, although the hubs still hasn't felt Chalupa Batman's kicks, and those movements are off and on throughout the day, which makes it pretty hard to forget that I'm pregnant. My energy levels are certainly lower than they used to be when I wasn't pregnant, but I'm moving around really well at the moment and for that I'm eternally thankful.   

Physically: Still moving around pretty strong. My belly is definitely growing and I have a feeling it's added on more than the 3lbs I put on this past month. My own physical activity has increased this past month as the weather has warmed up. I'm not doing double digit long runs anymore, but I am running 3-4 times a week and walking almost every day. I'm actually very thankful for that 1.5 mile round-trip walk to and from work every day. One perk of taking mass transit! Normally this is the time of year where I would lose a few pounds of "winter weight" so I think my body is just transferring weight from one area to another.  

My Wardrobe: I technically can still fit into non-maternity pants with a belly band, but they just aren't comfortable for being away from home 10+ hours every Monday through Friday. I have three pairs of maternity trousers and I'm rotating them like crazy. Dresses are becoming my best friend. I have not yet been successful at finding maternity tops that work with my short torso and finding running maternity tops that aren't tank tops is apparently mission impossible. I'm incredibly frustrating by the limited maternity clothes selection in stores because I would prefer to try things on for sizing purposes. I've toed the small/medium line my entire life and now the minor differences between those two sizes seem even further apart. 

I'm Sleeping: Not as well as I was before. I'm experimenting with different pillow positions to try to find something that works. I haven't had to get up in the middle of the night yet to visit the bathroom, but there's no more lazy mornings in bed. I've got to get up and go seconds after waking up because my bladder doesn't have its normal holding power anymore. I haven't snored at all since that one incident last month, which is great.  I am fearful that come August I'm going to be sleeping my nights away on our recliner, but if that's what I need to do to get comfortable I'll cross that bridge later. 

Food Aversions & Cravings: Aversions are gone. Now that it's grilling season the hubs cooks onions outside so I don't' have to smell them at all. As for cravings I'm all about the milk and apple juice - just at separate times!  I'm actively trying to drink more milk and eat more cheese for calcium purposes. Dessert most nights is now a glass of chocolate milk.  My brother learned the hard way that I will freak out if anyone else drinks the last of the organic apple juice and doesn't replenish the bottle with the "correct" type of apple juice.  Sorry, but I'm very specific when it comes to fruit juices because I refuse to drink juices with a ton of added sugars. If I wanted that much sugar, I'd eat a candy bar.  Also, HANGRY is a legit phenomenon when pregnant. If I don't eat every 2.5-3 hours all hell breaks loose. It isn't pretty. 

What I'm excited for this next month: Checking more things off of our to-do list. The hubs has a lengthy list of things we need and want to get done before August and we made a ton of progress last month, but still have quite a ways to go.  We ordered the crib and glider, but unfortunately they won't get in until 36 weeks. I know, I'm freaking out over that.  Thankfully the dresser should be in next week and then we can get our shelves up.   I'm really looking forward to maintaining my physical activity as best as possible. The hubs and I completed a 10k over the weekend and I don't have another race lined up at this moment, but I had so much fun that I'm looking to run another 10k in May. 

The Hubs: I'm not about to start the canonization process just yet, but the hubs is a saint. I had a minor freak out about how much we have left to do on our to-do list and how little time left to do it. He was so calm and collected and when I came home from work that very day he was washing the carpets. Seriously, what guy steam cleans carpets? I know when most people describe their ideal partner they don't put attributes like calm and patient at the top of their list, but right now those are the qualities I need the most from the hubs. Although I think his patience is actually a slow-play to name our baby boy Stetson. Seriously, the man won't give up that name! 

Baby Boy!

Baby Boy Chalupa Batman has 10 fingers and 10 toes. He's healthy and all of his internal measurements are tracking spot on for his due date. Just keep cooking little fella and we'll wait to meet you in August.

And he's stolen an even bigger piece of our hearts.  Truthfully, I really wanted a baby boy. I mean this in no disrespect to my older sister, older brother-in-laws, or my younger brother, but growing up I always wanted an older brother.  There are zero guarantees that the hubs and I will ever have a baby girl, but I'm on cloud 9 knowing that we'll have a rambunctious boy in our lives in all due time.

It started to pour buckets as soon as we got home from the doctor's office yesterday afternoon and my idea of a quick photo session marking the occasion in a grassy field were promptly dashed. Thankfully we happen to have a guest room with ridiculously bright blue walls. So these photos might not be the most technically sound, the ISO had to be cranked way to high for my liking, but the emotion in them is something I'll cherish forever.

The gender didn't matter for us, but finding out our little one is healthy was all that mattered. I know I said I wanted a boy, but honestly I would have been just as ecstatic if we were told we were having a girl. I swear because just hearing our little one was healthy was the important news. Especially after running a half marathon last weekend, it was rather nice to have a solid update for those few family members who voiced objections about me running.

Now, the biggest struggle is just going to be containing myself and not buying every train or super hero item I see in stores. Although, I probably would have bought the same things if we were having a baby girl :) Lincoln Logs were my favorite toy as a child and I had more than one Tonka truck.

I swear, this is little ol' blog is not going to become a pregnancy diary. I'll get back to other things here soon. I'm not making any excuses for being a tad bit focused on the little one lately. This has definitely been a game changer.

Pregnancy Update: 18 weeks

If I'm completely honest, I'm not one of those women who naturally knew what to do the second I found out I was pregnant. If I'm being brutally honest, there was a very lengthy pause while clutching a home pregnancy test. My first and immediate thought was that I needed to tell my husband, who was about to make our standard protein shakes for breakfast. Thank goodness the phone rang and that bought me a few precious moments to pull myself together.  After telling my husband I had no idea what I was supposed to do. 

The next 14 weeks have been the most tumultuous of my life, although I imagine I'm going to be saying that this fall when my world is tossed upside down with the addition of our little one. There were the euphoric highs of dancing around the kitchen after telling my hubs and seeing the smile on his face, having my grandmother remember our news after we told her on Christmas night (my dear grandmother doesn't always remember my name, so having her remember that we were going to have a baby really was amazing), hearing the heartbeat at 10weeks/2 days, watching our little one move around on the sonogram screen at exactly 13 weeks, and finally getting to share the news with all of our friends and family that after seven plus years of marriage we were going to have a baby. 

I'm in a much better place now where I can focus and hold onto those highs because I really don't want to revisit the lows. I started a journal where I kept weekly thoughts, but destroyed them after they turned a bit negative. I felt like my body was at war with itself and it wasn't a pleasant feeling. I'm in a great place right now and I'm starting fresh. I think flipping the chapter  in our well worn baby book and seeing that 18 weeks is the beginning of the fifth month was just the kick I needed to restart my tracking.  Just now on a monthly basis :)  And in typical fashion, I'm a week late already. 

18 WEEKS/ 5 MONTHS

Baby's size: a green bell pepper. 

I'm feeling: On top of the world this week. I ran a half marathon over the weekend. I use the term "run" loosely because it was my slowest half marathon time, however, that was the intention and goal going into it. I barely ran during weeks 6-13 so getting enough mileage in to safely warrant a half in just five weeks was a big achievement. Yes, my doctor approved me running! I don't know if it's the second trimester glow or if it's because the weather is getting warmer by the day, but I'm definitely seeing a marked improvement in my energy levels. I still fall asleep on the couch if I don't make it to bed by 10pm, but at least during the day I have the energy to take the stairs and move around as much as possible. 

Physically: My belly didn't start to show until week 17. And then it was BAM! Belly! Actually I'm pretty sure that from weeks 5-16 I just looked either bloated or that I had a big meal, so actually seeing a round belly was a welcomed sight.  The 6lbs that I've gained (after losing 5+ in the first trimester) have settled nicely around my belly and unfortunately in my chest. I actually had to wear a sports bra to work one day because I swear my chest grew a full cup size overnight. Thanks to Trader Joe's Coconut Body Butter my skin is looking better than it ever has before. I don't know if it was the brutal winter, the pregnancy, or a combination of both, but my skin was a wreck for most of the first trimester. 

My Wardrobe: I officially need to buy maternity clothes ASAP. So far the only maternity clothing purchase I've made is a few belly bands. A dear friend gifted me some of her old maternity clothes and while most of them are summer clothes there is one pair of grey trousers that I've worn a few times. I can still button and wear my beloved James Jeans boyfriend jeans thanks to their low cut, but I'm pretty sure my days are numbered in them. I also think the hubs is ready for me to stop wearing them because they are extremely lived in at the moment. I can't remember the last time I wore a fitted blouse or a belt to work. Well, the last time I wore a fitted blouse to work I popped a button while hiccuping. Thank goodness for my scarf! I feel like I might have a chance of dressing my growing belly appropriately, but I am at a loss for how to dress my newly enlarged chest. It's a new problem area for me. I'm down to three sports bras that I can comfortably wear while logging mileage. Again, I'm not used to having that problem!

I'm Sleeping: Like a rock! I love sleeping. I haven't had problems yet with getting comfortable and I hope that continues for as long as possible. The hubs said I snored one night, but that was after an extremely long day and I haven't snored since so I'm hoping that was a fluke. 

Food aversions & cravings: The smell of onions makes me want to gag. It's hysterical because I used to sneak raw onion when dicing them up, but now I have to leave the downstairs area of our house when the hubs is cutting and cooking onions. I don't know if it is a craving per se, but I'm eating peanut butter like my life depended on it. I think that's more mental because during all of our daycare visits (8 of them!) it was hammered in that our kid wouldn't be taking a peanut butter snack to school. I think I just want to stock up on the peanut butter now in case my lifetime supply has an expiration date in a few years. 

What I'm excited for this next month: I feel like this is such a big month. We're ordering the crib and glider this weekend. Our mortgage refinance should be finalized. I've got a 10k race on the calendar in April. Most importantly, as long as little Chalupa Batman (yes, that's our fetal nickname!) cooperates we'll be finding out the gender next week. I think that means the naming discussion will kick up into high gear next week. Right now my husband's favorite name is Stetson. Yeah, we're working on it. 

The hubs: The man has been an absolute saint. He hasn't complained once about my lack of help around the house and he's never said to me, "really? another nap?" He kept the house functional during the first trimester, he's been cooking more dinners than me, and he's just been amazing. He coordinated all of our daycare visits.  He put together a spreadsheet on different strollers and car seats. He started looking at cribs online one night just to cheer my up. The man bought a new SUV last week rather than his dream sports car because obviously the SUV is more baby friendly! He's been putting up with an extra dose of my brand of crazy lately and he hasn't balked yet at anything. H sprinted out of the house to the grocery store the first day I had morning sickness and came home with soup, saltines, ginger ale, and a pint of Ben & Jerry's. He's been my rock and heaven knows I've needed him more than ever lately. It's a total cliche, but I feel as this pregnancy as brought us even closer together.