If I'm completely honest, I'm not one of those women who naturally knew what to do the second I found out I was pregnant. If I'm being brutally honest, there was a very lengthy pause while clutching a home pregnancy test. My first and immediate thought was that I needed to tell my husband, who was about to make our standard protein shakes for breakfast. Thank goodness the phone rang and that bought me a few precious moments to pull myself together. After telling my husband I had no idea what I was supposed to do.
The next 14 weeks have been the most tumultuous of my life, although I imagine I'm going to be saying that this fall when my world is tossed upside down with the addition of our little one. There were the euphoric highs of dancing around the kitchen after telling my hubs and seeing the smile on his face, having my grandmother remember our news after we told her on Christmas night (my dear grandmother doesn't always remember my name, so having her remember that we were going to have a baby really was amazing), hearing the heartbeat at 10weeks/2 days, watching our little one move around on the sonogram screen at exactly 13 weeks, and finally getting to share the news with all of our friends and family that after seven plus years of marriage we were going to have a baby.
I'm in a much better place now where I can focus and hold onto those highs because I really don't want to revisit the lows. I started a journal where I kept weekly thoughts, but destroyed them after they turned a bit negative. I felt like my body was at war with itself and it wasn't a pleasant feeling. I'm in a great place right now and I'm starting fresh. I think flipping the chapter in our well worn baby book and seeing that 18 weeks is the beginning of the fifth month was just the kick I needed to restart my tracking. Just now on a monthly basis :) And in typical fashion, I'm a week late already.
18 WEEKS/ 5 MONTHS
Baby's size: a green bell pepper.
I'm feeling: On top of the world this week. I ran a half marathon over the weekend. I use the term "run" loosely because it was my slowest half marathon time, however, that was the intention and goal going into it. I barely ran during weeks 6-13 so getting enough mileage in to safely warrant a half in just five weeks was a big achievement. Yes, my doctor approved me running! I don't know if it's the second trimester glow or if it's because the weather is getting warmer by the day, but I'm definitely seeing a marked improvement in my energy levels. I still fall asleep on the couch if I don't make it to bed by 10pm, but at least during the day I have the energy to take the stairs and move around as much as possible.
Physically: My belly didn't start to show until week 17. And then it was BAM! Belly! Actually I'm pretty sure that from weeks 5-16 I just looked either bloated or that I had a big meal, so actually seeing a round belly was a welcomed sight. The 6lbs that I've gained (after losing 5+ in the first trimester) have settled nicely around my belly and unfortunately in my chest. I actually had to wear a sports bra to work one day because I swear my chest grew a full cup size overnight. Thanks to Trader Joe's Coconut Body Butter my skin is looking better than it ever has before. I don't know if it was the brutal winter, the pregnancy, or a combination of both, but my skin was a wreck for most of the first trimester.
My Wardrobe: I officially need to buy maternity clothes ASAP. So far the only maternity clothing purchase I've made is a few belly bands. A dear friend gifted me some of her old maternity clothes and while most of them are summer clothes there is one pair of grey trousers that I've worn a few times. I can still button and wear my beloved James Jeans boyfriend jeans thanks to their low cut, but I'm pretty sure my days are numbered in them. I also think the hubs is ready for me to stop wearing them because they are extremely lived in at the moment. I can't remember the last time I wore a fitted blouse or a belt to work. Well, the last time I wore a fitted blouse to work I popped a button while hiccuping. Thank goodness for my scarf! I feel like I might have a chance of dressing my growing belly appropriately, but I am at a loss for how to dress my newly enlarged chest. It's a new problem area for me. I'm down to three sports bras that I can comfortably wear while logging mileage. Again, I'm not used to having that problem!
I'm Sleeping: Like a rock! I love sleeping. I haven't had problems yet with getting comfortable and I hope that continues for as long as possible. The hubs said I snored one night, but that was after an extremely long day and I haven't snored since so I'm hoping that was a fluke.
Food aversions & cravings: The smell of onions makes me want to gag. It's hysterical because I used to sneak raw onion when dicing them up, but now I have to leave the downstairs area of our house when the hubs is cutting and cooking onions. I don't know if it is a craving per se, but I'm eating peanut butter like my life depended on it. I think that's more mental because during all of our daycare visits (8 of them!) it was hammered in that our kid wouldn't be taking a peanut butter snack to school. I think I just want to stock up on the peanut butter now in case my lifetime supply has an expiration date in a few years.
What I'm excited for this next month: I feel like this is such a big month. We're ordering the crib and glider this weekend. Our mortgage refinance should be finalized. I've got a 10k race on the calendar in April. Most importantly, as long as little Chalupa Batman (yes, that's our fetal nickname!) cooperates we'll be finding out the gender next week. I think that means the naming discussion will kick up into high gear next week. Right now my husband's favorite name is Stetson. Yeah, we're working on it.
The hubs: The man has been an absolute saint. He hasn't complained once about my lack of help around the house and he's never said to me, "really? another nap?" He kept the house functional during the first trimester, he's been cooking more dinners than me, and he's just been amazing. He coordinated all of our daycare visits. He put together a spreadsheet on different strollers and car seats. He started looking at cribs online one night just to cheer my up. The past two years have been stressful in our house because he and I were on different timelines for when we should start trying to have kids. But once he said he was ready he meant it and there hasn't been a second of doubt. The man bought a new SUV last week rather than his dream sports car because obviously the SUV is more baby friendly! He's been putting up with an extra dose of my brand of crazy lately and he hasn't balked yet at anything. H sprinted out of the house to the grocery store the first day I had morning sickness and came home with soup, saltines, ginger ale, and a pint of Ben & Jerry's. He's been my rock and heaven knows I've needed him more than ever lately. It's a total cliche, but I feel as this pregnancy as brought us even closer together.